Hansard Report

 An unused excerpt from my novel 1,000 Days of Sun


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OFFICIAL HANSARD REPORT

THIRD MEETING OF THE 2009/10 SESSION

WEDNESDAY

2 DECEMBER

2009

11.59AM

MORNING SESSION

Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body of the Moment of the Time to be Set to be Sat to be Told to be Pondered in the GLORY of GOD ALMIGHTY in this Year of the LORD 2009 the Morning be Blessed with Majesty and may the World be Riven with THRALLFULLNESS to the GLORY of the LORD we your Humble Servants Beseech THEE for Wiseness and Humblefulldomness.

[The Eternally-Revered Millicent Vasquez-Brahmin, Speaker of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples, presiding.]

The Speaker: I now in the name of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples invite the Member for East Ridge to open the Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body with a short prayer.

Mr. Baxter Boneshaker, Country Member Elected for East Ridge: Let us pray.

ALMIGHTY LORD OF GOD, we brilliantly are shone with thine power of glory and wisdom and we beseech THEE to deliver us into humbledom and wiseness in our deliberating of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples and that all things may be set to and organicalised as is the wont of the LORD and as is the will of the people and the safe welfare of the islands which in THY GLORY thine eye has named the MERCY ISLANDS.

We Bless thee and thy Powerful Rod and in hope and magic of thine ever-stiff ThrustingSword returning we kneel before thee with our souls wide open for thy truth, happiness, justice, piety, wonderment and ubiquity.

In thy great name’s sake we pray we can faithfully, justly, strengthily and judiciously wield our own puny and meagre swords at the people’s bequest. One nation we are but many peoples we serve. LORD ALMIGHTY we are nothing before THEE and ours is the blessing to serve THY people of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples in this Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body. Hasta la victoria siempre, AMEN.

The Speaker: All be sat. Now we proceed.

READING BY THE ETERNALLY-REVERED SPEAKER OF THE RERESENTATIVE ASSEMBLY OF THE HOUSE OF THE PEOPLES

The Speaker: I have received sizable and exhausting apologies this morning from Williams Jackson, Elder Greenland and Marlin Bandersnatch.

I see however that we have a quorum and have no other statements to be made here, now, everforth or summarily. I say this in the guidelines as set down by the movements dictated to the Eternally-Revered Speaker of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples on this, the Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body, in the Third Meeting of the 2009/10 Session. Mundus renovatus est a Christo regnante, gaudete, AMEN.

PRESENTATION OF PAPERS OR REPORTINGS

The Speaker: I call the First Person to the stand of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples on this, the Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body.

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI: May the LORD guide your hand to wiseness, Madam Eternally-Revered Speaker of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples on this, the Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body, in the Third Meeting of the 2009/10 Session.

On behalf of the Government I implore thee to lay the TABLE on this Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples, the Bill of the Harvest of the Snark (Hand Rules), to be discussed, implementated, respected and believed in as from the henceforth point of the fourth day of the fourth month at four o’clock as is the custom and wont of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples set down in the legislation by our forefathers and the forefathers yet to come.

The Speaker: So shall it be of order. Does the First Person with nail and gun wish to speak therewith, to this Bill?

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI: Yes ma’am. I hereby do plead and concede with nail and gun wish to speak therewith, to this Bill, before the this Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples.

The Speaker: Unde lux est orta.

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI: Then, Madam Eternally-Revered Speaker of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples, I shall.

The Speaker: Benedicat Domino, Salus Regi Nostro.

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI: It is the will and finding of this government that Snark season, which in tradition and by love of the land and the sea, is January 31 to June 31, each year, and not one day beyond or before, should remain how it is, despite the temporary moritorium of 2008/09 and the allowance of the additional hunt-gather-months caused by the refracted oil spill which so apparently broke patterns of breeding grounds. As the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples has already discussed such representations at previous sittings, I wish not to over-go that report ex machina.

Thus it is said and presented in the Bill of the Harvest of the Snark (Hand Rules)that the season by WILL and POWER should be returned to the dates of January 31 to June 31 as from the henceforth point of the fourth day of the fourth month at four o’clock as is the custom and wont of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples.

The Speaker: The motion is before the house. All in favour say aye.

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI, Baxter Boneshaker, Bagman Boneshaker, MaGuffin Tortuga, Estrella Arkaitz-Repolla, GuiseppeTerromoto: Aye.

The Speaker: Those against, say nay.

Guiseppe Terromoto: Nay.

The Speaker: Mr. Terromoto, may I remind you yet again that under the legislative laws of the rules of the guidelines of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples, you may vote only once.

Guiseppe Terromoto: Aye.

The Speaker: Let the record thus show that the preceding vote on the motion by the First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI on the Bill concerning the Bill of the Harvest of the Snark (Hand Rules) be nullified. Mr. Terromoto, please be sure to singly vote on this second and final vote.

Guiseppe Terromoto: Aye.

The Speaker: Salus invenitur. I therefore bring to the table once more and finally the the motion by the First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI on the Bill concerning the Bill of the Harvest of the Snark (Hand Rules). All those in favour, say aye.

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI, Baxter Boneshaker, Bagman Boneshaker, MaGuff Tortuga, Blake Kasai-Valdez, GuiseppeTerromoto: Aye.

The Speaker: Those against, say nay.

[A silence was heard in the chamber of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples]

The Speaker: I therefore declare this motion passed, being the motion by the First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI on the Bill concerning the Bill of the Harvest of the Snark (Hand Rules). Mr. First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI, the floor is yours.

First Person of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples Wilberforce Jenkins Ross VI: Thank you, Madam Eternally-Revered Speaker of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples, may the sword of the LORD be swift and just. Tempus adest gratiae, hoc quod optabamus. Carmina laetitiae, devote reddamus.

The House: Amen.

The Speaker: So shall it ever be. Let us break for a much-earned lunch, glory to GOD and the KING.This morning sitting of the Eleventh Morning of the Fifteenth of the Year of the Governing Body of the Moment of the Time of the Representative Assembly of the House of the Peoples is hereby with the power indulged in me by my post and position therefore suspended until 3pm.

LET THE RECORDS SHOW FOR TRUTH THE SUSPENSION OF THE ADJOURNMENT OF THE HOUSE AT 12.27PM AND 44 SECONDS, UNIVERSITY TIME (FORTHWITH)