Thursday, 31 December 2015

Soundtrack to Ikey and Rusty's poems

This is what they were listening to when they were writing:

  • Violent Arrest - Life Inside the Western Bloc
  • Laibach -  Kunstderfuge
  • Kosheen - Face In A Crowd
  • The Offspring - Americana
  • All Time Low - Outlines
  • Sarah Cracknell - Red Kite
  • Velvet Underground - The Gift
  • Air - Alone in Kyoto
  • Air - Radiation
  • Cornershop - Lessons Learned from Rocky I to Rocky III
  • Yellowcard - Way Away
  • The Fall - Immortality
  • Jack Barakat - No Budget Movies
  • Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat - Slovenian TV Interview
  • Me swearing at my phone

Things Ikey and Rusty googled for me in 2015

  • Radar Five Media Grafik Design
  • The P87 Tax Relief for Purposes of Employment form
  • National Theatre, South Bank, London
  • Differential Equations with Operator Equivalents  (a book)
  • ADDS Station Table (Full) - Aviation Weather Center
  • Hand woven West Antolean rug (Etsy ad)
  • W7DXX Internet Remote Base
  • The Ultraviolet Behavior of N= 8 Supergravity at Four Loops (paper, Z. Bern, 2009)
  • LA Clippers at Phoenix, 2015-02-25 National basketball (Yahoo)
  • Troubleshooting on Linn Forums – Issue between KRDS & AK/0d
  • A gallery of Lexus cars
  • Games for Girls
  • Romanian MP3 download site
  • The 98 bus route in London
  • A model wearing a swimsuit with a giant cat face picture on it
  • A summoner called Redty on League of Legends
  • A Romanian funds management group
  • A supercool Pioneer stereo radio/amp separate
  • A video of kids playing at a beach then a man in a hang glider
  • A picture of a mother and son
  • A dodgy download site
  • My Little Pony and a man with a moustache video:
  • A snoop page of a Shanghai-hosted site
  • 4Chan Video Games
  • A video of someone sleeping
  • HK Wonderful Club's Twitter page
  • European Water Partnership
  • Humidity Sensor
  • A video of two characters in a MORPG having a battle
  • Clearing and Settlement system for debt and equity securities
  • Coding is a coping strategy
  • Maibeth Varmen on Google Plus
  • M's Wikipedia page (James Bond)
  • Free Sexy Indians
  • Catalonian radio and TVB
  • Hong Kong bus timetable
  • Venture Capital
  • The Paris News from Paris, Texas

Ikey cat's poem of 2015

Ikey cat wrote these words from 9 Dec 2014 to 31 Dec 2015:






xxxx2xxxxx0xxxxx1xxxxxxxxxx6xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.,,,,, an

fsvevvevvrvvvvvvavvvlvvvvvv vvvvvyvvevvvavtrs


Rusty cat's poem of 2015

Everything Rusty cat has written from 9 Dec, 2014 up to today, 31 December 2015 by walking across my keyboard.




W2M,., yt=oo






,,,,,,,,,.\v \





@k 32ktiuoi

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Cat in a box


Rusty and Ike are my cats. They like doing lots of things. One of the things they like to do is to jump in boxes. Even when you flatten out the box to a cardboard square he will sit on it rather than anywhere else.

I read on the Internet that this is because they feel safe. They can touch all sides of the box so it means nobody can get them. I think I would like that. I think Rusty and Ike are on to something here.

This is the theme music to Star Trek: The Next Generation. When it kicks in properly after all the Space... the final frontier shit I like to sing along but the words are:

You are a cat in a box
You are a cat in a box
You are
a cat 
You're a cat and you are in
A box
You are a cat in a box
You are a cat in a box
You are
A cat 
You're a cat and you are in
A box
You're a cat
and you're in a box
You're a cat
and you are in
a box
You are a cat in a box
And you are a cat in a box
You are a cat

It doesn't always scan properly though.

Covering a book


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Monday, 14 December 2015

Brief Encounter

She was such a normal looking woman. Maybe early fifties. Mostly grey hair, but some of it was black and her eyes were kind of green, sort of blueish. Noticable, and smile-radiating eyes. She wore a coat that was from a proper clothes shop, rather than a supermarket.

She came into the shop, talking with her friend who was wearing a duffle coat, but a trendier one, not a scruffy patchy school one. Her friend had a tartan hat on so I didn’t notice what colour her hair was. I turned to the counter and paid for my newspaper.

I caught a snatch of conversation between these two normal, attractive, healthy, outdoorsy women. They were laughing about something that a young kid had said during a family visit. It had clearly been a fun get-together with three generations: the blue-green eyed, lovely-happy woman, her daughter and her daughter’s kid.

I imagined a traditional Christmas scene to follow; a table laden with turkey, two kinds of potatoes (roasties and mashed,) peas, mountains of carrots, roasted parsnips and a cheeky small hand nicking a pig in a blanket whilst everyone else pretended not to notice.

The lady would be there, maybe her friend too, plus their spouses and three or four grown-up kids with their own families. Some of them would be perched on plastic chairs pressed into action from an outdoor set. There’d be laughter, six pots of gravy, red and white wine and maybe Smooth Radio’s Christmas Special.

Back in the moment, I caught the woman’s eyes. I smiled at her; tis the season. She smiled back. Happy, friendly, not really flirty but just an exchange of warmth.

As I left the shop I noticed she was getting ready to pay for her own paper.
It was the Daily Mail.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed

How could this happen?
I signed the petition.
I even shared it.
All my friends saw it.

Who is this madman?
What rot. What decision
Should we prepare? If
All depend on it?

How should we now ban him?
I’ll start a petition.
We can all share it.
All our friends will see it.

And this straw-haired bad 'un
Will have no position
Here. I swear. We
Can turn away from it.

So elsewhere the same man
Will shout at the schism
From way over there. And
All his friends will share it.

Sunday, 6 December 2015

England F

The lotto numbers?

Please don't share:

I am a quantum millionaire.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Here is my vote

Unplug the oil wells
And let it drain away;
Re-set the windmills
And see the dustmotes play.

Turn off the TV.
Ignore the tabloids too.
I don’t want a war.
Who does? Do you?


Not many people are called Maude these days, so when you have one in your family you treasure them.

Nobody really knows, or knew, how old Maude was, but she was definitely an auntie, a cousin, not so distant as to be a rumour and close enough to qualify for friends status on Facebook.

Maude looked old, when you were young. But when you turned 30 Maude looked 50, and when you were 50 she looked 55. If you thought about it, it seemed that she’d been around forever but nobody could remember first meeting her.

Maude, my sister said, once was married. But her love died in a fire, and now she doesn’t talk about it. My sister didn’t tell me how she knew, but I knew she was exactly correct. I never mentioned this to Maude when I saw Maude, which was often enough to update on college or work or kids but not often enough to hold hands.

You wouldn’t call her an old lady if you saw her up close, you just wouldn’t. But from afar, yes, in a certain light, from a certain angle, here was a weariness to her gait. And you wouldn’t want to, dare to, stare into her eyes for too long. My sister said she did it once, and she would never talk about what she saw there.

My sister says a lot of things like that.

What was undeniable about Maude was that she was probably the richest woman the world had ever known. Maude owned her house, never seemed to be troubled by gas or electric or petrol or utilities bills, meaning that all her money was always hers. The fact that she didn’t have any money to speak of didn’t seem to bother her. So she was rich.

Her house was warm, and she owned no television. Maude was one of those that said things like ‘nothing good will come of a word that is half Latin and half Greek,’ and then tell you who’d first said that. She liked the library, did Maude. Even these days. There, she could listen to music on a borrowed Walkman, CD, Minidisc, MP3, neural-implant, depending on which timeline she was in.

Her favourite bands included Mahler, All Time Low and Adam and the Ants. She didn’t care much for Mozart, who she always said was a twiddly-iddly little sop whose PR game was stolen from Saatchi and Saatchi down a wormhole.

But then, Maude could be obtuse.

My sister has gone to see Maude today. Maude, she says, is feeling low. I hope my sister phones soon, because I’d like to know the latest news. My sister came to my wedding and caught the bouquet from me when I married Severiano. Seve is a good man and works hard and wants six kids, four cats, a couple of dogs, but is against caging birds up and hooray to that say I. Life is full of these little compromises.

Seve doesn’t get on with Maude. He says she reminds him of his own aunt, or cousin, who he finds creepy because she lives in a cave-house in the south of Spain, and doesn’t seem to ever want to engage with the world all that much. Seve says he asked her once why she never married, but her eyes glazed over and he knew that was going to be the end of that conversation. He never brought it up again. His own aunt – Marisol was her name – just wanted to sit and watch the sun rise, the clouds cross the sky, and the sun set. She never seemed to have any food in the house, but she never seemed to be hungry either.

My Seve says that once he visited her and made sure he visited the Mercado, where he bought some beautiful, beautiful fresh fish and some fennel and herbs. He cooked them lunch, and they ate without speaking. Marisol didn’t touch the fish, though.

The next time he visited – maybe a month later, he thinks – Marisol had a pond, in which you could swear that you’d see hake swimming about which made no sense at all when you thought about it.

So Seve, being a practical chap, didn’t.

He has gone to visit Marisol this week too. I have sent her some of the flower seeds she so loves. I wonder if begonias will thrive in Clint Eastwood-land? That’s another favourite of Maude’s. Clint Eastwood. Not as an actor, just the way he stares beyond the horizon. My sister says that Maude says that Clint knows.

We don’t know what that means, but it seems to make sense if you don’t think about it too much.
I hope my sister rings soon.

I hope Seve travels safely. Before he gets back I need to find the wedding album - it's the only shots of him that I've got. He doesn't much care for Facebook and such. He says it's not real. Of course, I say, that's the point. But he doesn't bother and well, to each his own, and all that. He's a good man.

One day, we hope that Maude and Marisol will meet. We try and tell them both that they would be happy and have lots in common. Maude is prone to nodding just enough to make you believe she’s heard you, and enough to make you think that she’s on board. Marisol, I’m not so sure about. My Spanish isn’t so great and her English is.

Her English is.

Marisol told Seve once that there was a place in every town where you could stand and watch the world spin against the sky. He is trying to find it in our town. But he can’t. Marisol says that the trick is not to look too hard; everything is always moving, she says. All you have to do is move a little the other way. Cameras can see it, she says, but only until they have stolen enough parts of people’s souls away.

There aren’t any pictures of Marisol, anywhere.

My sister rang. She says Maude has gone. There will be no funeral, at Maude’s request. My sister says it is all taken care of. She will be staying a while to sort it all out and there’s no need to come down. I could hear her voice was tired. She seemed a little intense, now I think about it. The line was bad; she was calling from afar. It was crackly. She sounded ancient with all the pressure.

I hope Seve travels safely.