Grandad Pat The Travelling Man

Grandad, why have you been away?
Where have you been?

Where did you stay?

Grandad, I thought that you would never leave.

You liked your armchair,

Your nice cup of tea.

And watching the quiz shows on the TV,

Shouting out answers

Much quicker than me,

Your comfortable slippers with wooly inside,

Chip supper on Friday,

A fish on the side.

Grandad, why did you travel abroad?

What did you see there?

Please tell me more.

Well, lad, I thought it was time for a change

Time to do something

That felt new and strange;

I went to the land of the Clangbacklecloo

The eight-footed Gaggler

That smells like beef stew,

I talked with a Dolphinasaurus called Jim

He swam when he spoke

And I really liked him.

I climbed the sweet-mountains of Pickamix Land

Where everything’s edible,

Even the sand.

I sang with the snaggletoothed lemon-soaked pies

Who all have green bellies

And seventy eyes.

I waved at the glitter filled waterfall tree

It smiled and giggled

And waved back at me

I swam in the dark until it all came clear

I swam all the way

From there back to here

Grandad, whyever did you want to go?

Did you not like it?

Here back at home?

Ah, lad, I loved it in my nice warm house

With slippers and fires

And love all about

But years ago I made a promise you see,

To a lad, just your age,

Just your height, too, I see.

Grandad, what did you say to that lad?

Was he your friend

Was he my dad?

I said that one day, that I would go away

And paddle in

The brook of Bombay

I told him that when I was old enough

I’d ride on the dinobeasts

They’re not so tough

I’d dingle the dongle of Waggleface Womble

I’d dance on the head

Of the giant called Fred

I’d play darts with Goggle and soccer with Swoggle

I’d drink from the lightning

In the land of Spoggle

I’d climb to the top of the Bagabag bush

Which only has one fruit

As big as a brush

I’d do all these things because life should be fun

Because you don’t need reasons

To do what you’ve done.

Grandad, you do like to talk in riddles

It’s making my head hurt

Although just a little;

But why did you only just go on your travels?
Not when you were younger

It’s quite the kerfuffle.

Ah, well, you’ll find out one day

It’s sometimes hard

To get away

Because you’ve got to work and earn enough money

To pay for your house,

And your bread, milk and honey.

I wasn’t so careful, at least so it seems,

Because decades went past

And I forgot my dreams.

But then I remembered what your Grandma said

One morning at breakfast

Over jam and bread.

She said,

‘Grandad Pat, whatever happened to

That lad that we used to know

Where did he go?

Oh

He was a lovely

Adventurous boy

I remember him well. He was a joy.’

Grandad, do tell me more

What happened to that lad?

The one she adored?

Well, young man, it seems that he faded away

We lost touch you see,

Somewhere on the way.

Whilst I was too busy with numbers and figures

And desks, and telephones,

Ringing and ringing

And clients, and suits, and pleasing the boss

Then on the weekend

Trying to just relax

And then Monday’d come and it’s more of the same

More sheets to fill in,

No time for games.

So that lad and I didn’t speak for forty years

It wasn’t an issue

There weren’t any tears,

Then your Grandma said,

Granddad Pat. Why don’t we see

If that boy is still around.

He was fun,

Hmm?

I am sure

He would love to laugh

With you again about adventurous stuff.'

But I wouldn’t listen, because I was too busy

Writing reports,

Getting in a tizzy

Then one day my boss, who was younger than me,

Who wore shiny suits

And had a degree,

Said .

‘Pat, we’d like to thank you

For your service,

But your time is through.

You have reached retirement age

And we’re retiring your job

Think of the money

That

The Company

Will

 Save.’

Then your Grandma said,

‘Pat, you gave them nothing but your best

But now it’s time

To reflect

On

What you want

On what you said

To that young lad we used to know.’

Oh Grandad, what a story, What a tale!

Who was this lad?

What did you say?

Well, lad, I took a while

To remember his face

To remember his smile.

And I looked in the mirror

And despite all the years

I could remember his eyes

His nose, and his ears.

I remembered the promise I’d made way back when

And I reached out and called him

And heard him again!

I told him, ‘Young fellow, I’m going abroad

With Grandma Victoria

We’ll fly with the birds,

We’ll gronk with the gakalak bokabadoo

The spingly spongles of Kalamazoo

And zoom down the ice slopes at Bangor-On-Toast

Your Grandma and me

Will see who
falls
over
 the
 most.

We’ll laugh and we’ll play like never before

We won’t be distracted

By silly suits any more.'

So we travelled and travelled and ignored the women and men

Who said we were old

And were no good to them.

We took a slow boat on the fast lane to Clang,

We got tangled in branches

And fell in a can,

And hid from the ravenous Fastflippy bird

Who’s short-sighted enough

To think we were served

For his dinner, or luncheon, or double-time tea

Well a supper’s the last thing

We wanted to be!

Grandad, I am sleepy And ready for bed.

But before I go up

Will you tell me the rest?

Just one more thing, for now, then, you curious lad.

Because you enquired

And because you asked.

That young man I mentioned, right at the start

About your age,

With a good mind and heart.

I will tell you his name, and soon enough you’ll see

That the boy was called Pat.

That the young lad was me.

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