THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE shall always be written in capitals.
This is because THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE plays in CAPITAL LETTERS.
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE is a blend of Stax, Sex Pistols, Bellrays and Beastie Boys.
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE fucks like a beast.
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE flays your skin.
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE looks fucking sharp as fuck.
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE has better lights and sound than God at Glastonbury.
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE shall play some or all of the following songs: I Like to Move It; Ride On Time; Ace of Spades; Beggin’; Cuddly Toy (Roachford); Seven Nation Army; Overload (Sugababes); Not Gonna Get Us (TaTu); Sound of the Underground (Girls Aloud); Fight for your Right (To Party); Feel Good Hit of the Summer; Addicted to Bass; Low Place Like Home; The Final Countdown; Super Freak; Run To The Hills; Hellfudge; Smooth Criminal;
THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE will never play any of these fucking songs: Come on Eileen; anything by Fleetwood fucking Mac; anything by Madonna; anything by the Beatles or the Rolling Stones.
Anyone who requests any song from THE MERCILESS RIFF MACHINE shall be ejected from the venue and banned from any future performances without refund and with no exceptions.
Note: This is from about 2013 when I was definitely going to put a shit hot band together to do some shit hot music and make some shit hot money. Obviously, it never happened. As I recall, Duncan Black was 100% in on the idea. I wonder if this might have been an early nod toward what eventually became Rabo de Toro?
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