Sit down, my friend, and crack a beer. You’ll need it whilst
you listen
To feats incredible and rare. A tale of luminescence,
Adventures of a man with an extraordinary presence
You won’t believe me
But it’s completely
Accurate and truthful, well, according to the legends.
Friend, I give you
Giuseppe Terremoto.
Never has there been a human like him, let’s be candid,
Samson came close, Thor did too, but neither were to
standard.
Stronger than a thousand men, as clever as a hundred
Mathematicians
That’s the position
Established by the many stories whispered and demanded
Since he landed.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
He spoke a thousand languages, so Giuseppe was able
To bring a thousand warring tribes together at the table
To meet, to eat, to sing, to add their stories to the fable
Of creation.
It was amazing.
A walking, breathing tower that taught everything to Babel.
Incredible.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
Sometimes he was the virus and sometimes he was the cure.
He kept his body wild and free, his motives strong and pure.
Took baubles from the rich and distributed to the poor
Clothes and wheat,
Cash and meat.
He had no time for politics: he knew man would endure
For evermore,
Giuseppe Terremoto.
An old man said to me one time that all of it was true.
Giuseppe’d made the cornfields grow. He’d scared the sky to
blue.
In the Great Flood he’d carried Noah’s ship and saved the
crew
Of beasts and men
To thrive again.
He drank and drank and drank until the flood-water withdrew
To pastures new:
Giuseppe Terremoto.
Some said the man went to Japan, and there he studied Sumo.
He stomped on all they sent him from Osaka to Kyoto,
He faced down the Yazuka gangs from Nishin to Kazuno
And left them reeling,
Bruised black and bleeding.
Godzilla came up from the depths to roar and take a photo
With his hero:
Giuseppe Terremoto.
They said he would be quickly dead out in the Wild West
They boasted that they’d take him down: a sap like all the
rest.
They came; they tried. They failed. They died. A lake of
tears shed
By grieving mothers,
Widows, and lovers.
And Wild Bill trembled cause he knew that he had nothing
left
He’d met the best:
Giuseppe Terremoto
The stories say he drank one day with mighty giant Andre
Forty beers for breakfast, five steaks each before the
entrée
A vat of wine mixed with the moonshine from the Devil’s
pantry
Til Andre slumbered.
But unencumbered
Giuseppe polished off another lake of finest brandy
For a nightcap.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
He plays eight hundred instruments, from clavier to cello,
Sometimes he makes it metal and sometimes he makes it
mellow.
Largo and legato or vivace and allegro;
Basso profundo
Up to soprano.
It’s Mozart and Vivaldi, Motorhead and deep electro
In his solo:
Giuseppe Terremoto.
He calculated Pi down to a million million places,
Solved Feynman’s Last Theorem and many other cases,
Taught Newton physics, beat Darwin and Wallace in the races
To the new one:
Evolution.
His dialogues with Plato formed the backbone and the basis
Of all debates.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
He is a beast at football games, man, no-one has his power.
His shot is harder than ten men (or one Tony Yeboah).
It cuts the grass so fast that there’s no need for any
mower.
He whacks the ball
Toward the goal
And scores. The crowd go wild and erupt like Krakatoa.
What a player:
Giuseppe Terremoto.
It’s even said that he protects the earth from all invaders.
He spins the rings of Saturn, making dizzy any raiders
Who dare to wave their tentacles toward his friends and
neighbours.
Maybe it’s true
Cause me and you
Have never been enslaved by aliens. Maybe he’s saved us?
The famous
Giuseppe Terremoto.
He’s worshipped as a deity from London to Lesotho
His statue stands in distant lands from York to Orinoco
Look closely and you’ll see him peer back from the
stained-glass windows
Of medieval
Cathedrals.
It’s rumoured that he wrote the gnostic gospels for a joke,
oh
We hope so.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
Well, some are leaders, some are not, but none are born to
follow
So listen in, we’ll learn from him, Giuseppe Terremoto.
He wouldn’t want you to kowtow to any other mortal
And you know
That it’s so.
Bow down to none and chase your dreams. That’s all there is
in life, oh
We are all
Giuseppe Terremoto.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
Giuseppe Terremoto.
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