In the Land of a Thousand Bastards (Lyrics)

Intro: In the land of a thousand bastards

We supply the staff for the Hotel California

We’re dead from the neck up

And we keep our kids in cages

We make the world turn

We turn it worse

We’re computer-assisted, badly-twisted, double-fisted, dark web-listed, instant-access, pay no taxes, doxing dastards, utter bastards

We’re bent and blistered, grubby grifters, little Hitlers, wallet lifters, narcissistic, turn a cheap trick, punch-your-fathers, utter bastards

We’re biting midges, wizened witches, don’t like snitches - give you stitches, half-demented, pay-no-rented, molten lava, utter bastards

We’re lager-swilling, puppy-killing, dirty-pilling, over-billing, crooks and chancers, private dancers, arson-artists, utter bastards

We’re penny-pinching, scabies-itching, flat-evicting, punch yer tits in, racist wankers, pay the bankers, kings of falsehoods, utter bastards

We’re cracked and crazy, lying, lazy, fans of Jay-Z, skunk-smoke hazy, project fear, drool and leer, start the carjack, utter bastards

We’ll do you over, for a tenner, hobnail boots, you think you’re clever? Rip your new suit, rip your new shoes, we’re just classless utter bastards

We’ll burn your school down, burn the whole town, it’s all fucked now we’re the guvnors, a thousand sweaty ballsacks dangle, winnits tangle, utter bastards

We’re red from sleeping in the heatwave, rich from thieving cash that you saved, we’re collectors, you elect us, politicians, utter bastards

We’re on the gravy train to nowhere, what do we care if it ain’t fair? Subsidise our second homes, Cause we’re your masters, utter bastards

We’ll tell you what you want to hear, tell you you’re in charge of here, it’s all bollocks, but you swallow all our bullshit, utter bastards

We’re in the game, we’re not the same, we’re innocent, and you’re to blame, we’re multi-taskers, backwards-maskers, nasty-party utter bastards

We raise the flag, we chainsmoke fags, we call you slags, we run in packs, we’re sharp-suit, ill-repute, drunk on darkness, utter bastards

We walk amongst you, look just like you, what we won’t do is provoke you, stay asleep, now not a peep, we’re busy being utter bastards

We’ve got no morals, got some brass balls, make the tough calls, tweak your nipples, push you under, fart like thunder, dirty arses, utter bastards

We’ll snort your coke, we like a smoke, we’ll make you broke, devoid of hope, squash your brain, pull your chain, everlasting utter bastards

Outro: There ain’t half been some utter bastards

Fucking wankers, fucking wankers

There ain’t half been some utter bastards

Try and kill one and just hope that there’s no more to come