A luxury I’ve learned to live without (2000)

I stroll the Sunday silent street In thrall of muscle weary feat A wasted week

a reek bleak sleep

Straining against the grained brain ashamed of help outside my stale shale shell

a haze of hectic hegemony

                                                                                       recoils rasping from recalling

The strolling bundanced bile and beet Offal bustle. Beery beat, A lazy leap

a reek bleak sleep

Flailing amazed by railing shame I strain I belt out snide I fail fail yell

of ways to septic ceremony

                                                                                       of hangdog heartbust homily

That strolls the Sunday silent street.

Well... (1999)

If life, defined, is this moment

and then the world spins on,

kiss me into a coma

before this moment's gone.



Note: I remember writing this and thinking I was very clever, until I realised I'd read it in Brave New World. Oh well.

Summer Lovin' (1997)

Don't you feel there's something strong between us?

A bit like gropin' in the dark, or squelchin' in the sun?

Run rabbit, run

Quick - Quick - Quick

Quickquickquickquickquick

All this glory strummin' turns my head around

One of these whiles I'll tread a rut and run into the ground

Run rabbit, run

Right into the ground

Drawing at the well (1998)

To draw your face with words
Needs something I don’t possess -
Through the imprint of you at the back of my eyes,
Through the memory of your caress.


For in song lies a blossom, a heartbeat,
A larynxlove pure, untouched, true;
Unsullied by promise of sweetmeats
From poppydreams scrawled in wild hue,



And how bright is the flame of the chorus
With fearless delight in its birth,
Untouched by life’s grimy thesaurus,
Unclipped by this rust-scissored earth.


So I’ll shape a phrase of you,
Inapt though my mothwords will be;
Through the essence of you in the mackintosh rain
Through the part of you dying in me.

Twister (1997)

Can you feel the twister winding up within you?

Sister

Do you feel you're flying?

You know,

it's days like these when I feel I could do just about

anything -

as long as you're with me, and I keep this

buzzing

inside me.

Up into the ether, the only way

<or so they say, I don't care anyway, cause I feel I'm flying.>

But,

I got a spring inside me,

tensing and bending inside me,

so scared it's gonna snap

I feel so spiky it hurts.

I feel the world turning away,

burning my fevered mind away -

too close to the sun on

electric icaruswings,

but I don't care anyway

because for now,

I'm flying.

Service me (1996)

Full on annual sexual MOT,

A gasping jalopy

Rolling on, I let your almond teeth

Clamp lost dignity,

And in an instinct-second, leave my rusty

Hasbeen liberty

And dissolved élan for feckless junkyard elegy.

Where they belong.

Miles behind me.

Rhyw Beth (1997)

Mi oedd hi'n anghreadwy

yr dau ohonym ni wrth gwrs wedi meddwi

ac yn siarad am rhyw

Beth.

Ond 'r 'on ni wedi chwalu,

rwan dwi'n methu meddwl amdani hi

heb meddwl am rhyw

Beth

Beth

Be' dwi'n mynd I gwneud

hebdach rhyw

Beth?

Past caring (1999)

Amongst the dross there is

Magic

(the secret is loving the dross)

(thusly stupifying the tricksters and shysters

who seek only to polish turds for diamonds)

Do not seek out the

Magic

(for it will demean to illusion)

(seek out the dross, but know therein lies love,

and the stars will sing)

Love and Magic (1996)

Slowly, softly

the world shrinks imperceptibly.

Simplicity through purity

and time is stopped in sympathy

with this moment.

Skin

On

Skin

Love

And

Magic.

Lollipop love (1996)

Desolate waterfalls of lust are reduced

to a trickle, as years and people

that pass through us

give us only

hesitancy, broken rules, mistust, for we

are so fickle, and tears are a feeble

absolution.

Still, the only end to a pointless diversion

of

match and miss-match,

thrust and counterthrust,

use and miss-use,

craven cravings:

Lollipop

Liliput

Whiplash

Love.

And In The End... (2000)

And where do you do my dear where do you do that involved aspect that influences and satiates that bilious bastard of sweaty sweetness that demure dilation that defiles that defies that derides that denies that where that where does it take where does it take where can I first feed where do you do where my dear my where do you do feed first I can take it does it take that denial that derides that defies that defiles that dilation demure that sweet sweat of bastard bile that satiates and influences that aspect involved do you dear do you where and where that where where do that do that take my take.

Forswear do you do unclean fare do you do not evolved perfect not insolences bland face to face not religious mustard of dirty darkness not azure alienation not fertile not facile not for real not for life forswear forswear for my sake forswear for my sake there can I burst bleed forswear do you forswear unclean fare forswear do you forswear bled burst I can there forswear forswear forswear life for not real for not facile not fertile not alienation azure not dark dirt not mustard religion not face to face bland insolences not perfect evolved do you do fare unclean do you forswear for my sake for my sake I swear I swear I swear do do do for my sake my sake.

To share two for two I fear share two for two soft sinful spirits soft sin-abuses gland hate to hate soft thrill of debasement of healthless heathen soft secure secretion soft girdle soft gestalt soft garble soft gum-style to share to share where I break two for two to share I fear I break share gumstyle soft garble soft gestalt soft girdle soft secretion secure heathen healthless debased of thrill soft hate to hate gland abuses sin-soft spirits two for two share I fear two for two to share of sin to share of soft sin to share I break I fear to hate to hate.

And near you you you have seen there you you you laugh betrothed bereft laugh enthralled erect stand late too late laugh chill buff laughter laugh stealthstill semen laugh venal virgin laugh curdles laugh crumbles laugh conquers laugh cancers laugh near and near seen too late seen you you you near too near I seen near too late near cancers laugh conquers crumbles curdles virgin venal laugh semen stilled buff chill too late stand erect enthralled bereft betrothed  you you you near have seen there laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh and

laughter too late

Every night I sweat for daybreak / And every day I shrink from light (1995)

I can’t relax on purpose –

suppose my heart a klaxon;

decibel intolerable,

a squalid debasement, a cell.

The morning’s too close to sleep,

so keep inhaling morose

indelicate aspirations,

respirations inelegant.

Shit man ain’t life a bitch (1995)

Sometimes
I really feel like I’m losing it, losing it,

and I can’t see forward for the blood in my eyes.

Sometimes

I just don’t know what’s holding me up

(or holding me back,

I can’t decide.)

Redemption Suite (predilection, prediction, preclusion) (1998)

The fickle flame flickers, and I smile at the knowledge

That we cry at the same time, it’s just 

The faces that are different.

I’m so tired past the smack of my life

I won’t sleep tonight;

and the image of you burns the back of my eyes,

though I yearn for ice.

So I flirt with the memories, tender illusions

of a honey past,

but I need some brand new ones that don’t have you in them,

and I need them fast.

There’s a beckoning candle in the ebony night

and I’m warmed by it;

for the dungdevilled darkness can never enshroud it

with vile velvet.

In dull destitution and sullen seclusion, I lie

with my sweat,

spinning my hapless way round, round and round, 

round this empty secret.

Redemption Suite 2 (1999)

Were love untainted, yet would it hold no glory.

Insipid, unchanging, and pockmarked by furyless dreams, we'd walk

in faithless fog: a paceless parody of life we'd trudge

were love untainted.

Redemption Suite 1 (1997)

The sun, yawning, wakes;

Its pale, tired rays break through

The receding night.

one4one (1998)

I awake

A tawdry mess of lumpen limb and spaghetti senses.

Adage

Upon adage pulverised on pulsing crag, my pulped wrists

Of rage

Assumed long-lost, wizarded away, with imprudent folds of trust long-left

In lakes

Of lonely. Drowned in this azure, even the wanton-weary cannot rest

(Or wake)

Surge, then,

If dare you do, and in challenge to the sorry sun, whose filthy light

Begins

To snide into these rabid eyes, shout atonal assurance; and banish trite

Incense

Of gratitude given weakly, naiveté lost cheaply. With clattered conscience, delight

In limb

Locked fallacy, only to wake with a world whose hope spins bland and blind.

Methods of Dissent 5 (1995)

Dyle fod rhywle I mi guddio

O lygaid greulon byd galed yma.

Dwi eisiau hedfan o'r gorff yma,

Hedfan a ddianc o'r byd yma.

Methods of dissent 4 (1997)

Piloted I

through Dante-sky

my carriage: talonned, cawking high.

Downcast eyes spy,

on rustsoaked stone cathedra,

grinning brutes awaiting my tumble

claws clamped,

and clanking cold surburbanities.

But the rocks nearby

are comforting, sharp.

When I fall,

I will aim well.

Methods of Dissent 2 (1997)

Infantile I feel, unpleasant at best,

infernal, unreal, and yearning for rest.

With a spine cracked and bent

from this smalltown lament,

eternally reeling, impistry repressed.

Methods of Dissent – the truth at last and easy (2000)

Words, when uttered, lose their power, and mysteries shared are demeaned when inked for all to see.

Stay silent, lock eyes, and smile in the deceit that you know of the same fashionable fantasy,

for language is the last refuge of a gloom-groping man

whose imagination has failed him utterly.

Four Years (1996)

An affliction, this affection.

We bite and scratch from the inside out.

Every sinew, every synapse craves a partner,

Then another.

Years roll by so swiftly

But tears follow you forever.

Season’s Greetings

Who’s happy today?

I am.

Look, I am smiling and can say

YIPEEEEEEE

Why?

Well, because December is a season to celebrate.

All

Around

The

World

December 8 is Bodhi Day,

That remembers Buddah meditating.

We can learn more about that in books and online!

Hannukah is a festival of lights

A special Jewish holiday!

What can we learn about that?

A very old festival is called Yule

Maybe you know that word already.

It is celebrated with singing and food,

A 12 day festival in December.

Christmas happens, too, we know,

At the same time of year. There’s food, and singing,

Family, too, and gifts and a baby Jesus.

Kwanzaa, that’s another one,

A great celebration of African culture,

The name means ‘first fruits of the harvest’

And cheering and happiness too.

Dongzhi Festival’s something you can see in China,

Japan, Korea, Vietnam too

It marks the winter solstice

As many people also do – what date is that this year I wonder?

For the Zuni and Hopi there’s Soyal on that date,

Bringing the sun back awake from his sleep.

It marks another wheel of the year,

Purification and blessings.

Pancha Gapati honours Lord Ganesha,

Who is important to Hindu friends.

Five days of blessings and love and hope.

Maybe we can learn more here too.

Everyone is happy

At this time of year,

Giving thanks and helping each other out,

Remembering those who have come before,

And looking forward to many more times

With family, friends

People we meet

All

Around

The

World

YIPPEEEEEEEEEE

Cyfleuon hyll (2013)

Dwi wedi methu fy hun

Neu

Golliad

Colli fy hun?

Hunllef?

Na.

Dwi eisiau anghofio

Ail-creu

Ail-credu.

Unigrwydd o gofiadau fer

Hyll

Sdim ots

I still get a shudder when I walk past

Undercover. I suppose.

Just Me. Farrar Road.

Ay. Well.

They killed it.

But here and there you can see them.

Tiny crush barriers. Growing.

From the ground.

From The Ground.

As da price of commerce.

Pitch markings now marked down peaches.

Two-one now two for one..

Penalty box now cornflake box.

Red cards now loyalty cards.

Sent off for savings.

Gave 110% guvnor for a 10% discount.

Students mill about the place picking up

Pizzas for a pound.

So; and so what?

I shiver.

I smile.

I check the bargains aisle at the St. Paul’s End.

It’s a bit too far out for a free kick.

But.

Nobody’s looking.

One last chance?

There’s always a last chance.

And, then:

I check for green shirted referees.

None are watching.

Somehow a marked down orange

Accidentally falls out my hand.

And I volley it toward the defensive wall

Of 49p loaves.

It goes wide.

Felly, a felly.

Ail-symudiad;

Ail-creu. Ail-credu?

Na, dwi ddim yn meddwl

fod hyn yn teimlo’n iawn

Dwi ddim yn deimlo.

Iawn.

A ble mae’r iechyd? Lle mae’r fywyd wedi fod?

Sdim ots rili lle fydd bywyd mynd.

Sdim ots pam neu pryd.

Fydd y byd dal yn ddawnsio I rhai ohonym ni.

I mi? Chdi? Be di gwahaniaeth eniwe?

Anghofiadwy.

Am pob o rhesymau od

Rong

neu

Hyll

‘na.

Na.

Dim colliad, ond

Yn siml: methu

Gyfleuon.

Ag yn y ddiwedd faswn I eisiau dim ond un cwestiwn bach arall:

Enwogion?

O, pwy?

Waffles

There’s a country called Holland.

Stop this poem and find it on a map.

…

…

…

…

…

Ah hello, I see you are back.

It’s also called the Netherlands.

Next door there is a place called Belgium.

Stop again and find that place.

…

…

…

…

…

Did you find Belgium? That’s ace!

It’s small too, but important.

Because here in this area

Almost a thousand years ago

Was invented a delicious food

Called the waffle, yeah!

The word wafel was originally Dutch

Because they have their own language

It is a big advantage

To speak it, oh, so much.

In English, we call it a waffle

It is of course a kind of dough

Cooked in a special waffle iron, you know.

You can eat it with sliced apple

Or butter, or chocolate, or fruit

Whatever flavour that suits you, man

Maple syrup, cream, honey, jam

Whatever things you like to chew

If we may stop one last time, we

Can find California on a map

…

…

…

…

…

Aha you have returned, come back

All this running is making me hungry.

Swimming

I read in a book, a book I trust,

That every single one of us

Me, you, the teacher too,

The man down the road who is eating some stew,

We all are 50 per cent water.

Not to say, to say a lie,

It doesn’t mean that you and I

Splash, walk, splosh and talk,

But that all of our cells, skin, heart and all,

Are made, in part, of moisture.

So, let’s think, think of a way

To cool down on a summer’s day

Hey, yo, why don’t we go

To a swimming pool, sometimes called a Lido

And front crawl through the water?

Which strokes, strokes to swim

Do we know, what do we think?

Doggy paddle, breaststroke, back,

Butterfly and more - just depends what

Way we want to float-a.

And in LA, LA has beaches

Perched upon an ocean that reaches

All the way to Japan! Hey

I guess it would be best

Not to swim all that way, instead

Just to enjoy the water.

We can learn, learn to swim

And sometimes use our water wings

It’s fun, and healthy, that’s for sure

I wonder if that’s all because

We’re all half made of water?