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Thursday 30 January 2014

Foul Mouthed Sweet Potato Chips With Tarragon And A Dipping Sauce Of Sour Cream And Pepper And Salt (2008ish)



Buy a cunting sweet potato from your local bastard shop, you twat.

Prepare baking tray in the oven, yeah, to fuck of a hot with extra virgin olive oil in it, or if you want to be a right fucking posh wanker, add some splashes of cocking chilli oil as well.

Slice sweet potato into thin chips. WITH A BIG FUCKING DANGEROUS KNIFE. Mine was hand forged by a Japanese swordmaker. Yours probably wasn’t so you’ll just have to fucking make do won’t you? Tit.

Parboil chips to soften for like, I dunno, about 5 minutes or something. Then, for fucks sake, fucking drain them, you PRICK.

When the oil in the oven wot you whacked up to full volume at the start is smoking like fuck lob the chips into it and season with FRESH tarragon. Not DRIED. IT WILL FUCKING BURN AND YOU WILL LOOK LIKE AN UTTER ARSEHOLE FOR FUCKING THIS UP CAUSE IT IS A PIECE OF PISS. Twat them about a bit and they’ll go fluffy in the middle too, obviously. This, if you were wondering, is why they were parboiled, you disgusting turd-eating mong.

Don’t fuckin burn the fucking things because you will fuck the fucking thing up AND YOU WILL LOOK LIKE AN UTTER ARSEHOLE FOR FUCKING THIS UP CAUSE IT IS A PIECE OF PISS

When they look ready, fucking eat the fuckers HOT with a dipping sauce of sour cream, fresh ground pepper and sea salt.

EAT THEM FROM A BLOOD-ARSING BOWL OR SOMETHING. DO NOT BURN YOUR FINGERS CAUSE THEY ARE MUCH BETTER DEAD FUCKING HOT JUST OUT OF THE OVEN. OK? COCKFACE? OK?

THEY TASTE FUCKING NICE. YOU CUNT.

Reverend Joseph T. Shooman, Dip.Mus, BA(Hons), Singing Grade 5 Distinction, L.Vis


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