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Wednesday, 16 October 2024

un/grateful

There's new things I can’t do like walking or working

but, see: my book’s flying


I’m not doing housework or cleaning or cooking

but it’s fucking selling


There’s no real connection, but it feels like a tradeoff

a bargain with – who? - someone?


I’ve written nowt decent for – what? - three months?

fuck this interregnum.



Codeine for the fucked back; it smooths me a little

but smothers as much


Drained of motivation, a fight to stay level

but can’t give enough


A waste of this nowhere, unable to battle

toward what I want:


Appointments ahead, Joe, so wait for the phonecall,

and keep your head up



People are shocked when they see me. I’m shorter

than I ever was


Some lose weight: I lost height. Oh how truly funny

a fractured back is


I’m waiting for respite. Stability. Something.

I’m fragile. I rust,


But my book is selling. It just won’t stop soaring:

my spine crumbles, dust.



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