This is not a list

I don’t cook

like I used to

I have no urge

I just don’t want to

I had two books

to write

for myself, or maybe

one might

have gotten a deal

or both

or neither, but now

fuck knows

if I’ll ever go back

and carry on

I think perhaps

those days’ve gone.

I don’t smile

like I used to

I’m finding ways

to want to.

I can’t be arsed

setting up mics

I can’t be arsed

getting sound right

It does my head

right in

That the fucking songs

keep coming

one take is all

they’re gonna get

Instant upload

done. Dusted. Next.

I keep waking up,

no matter what.

Mornings are bright

tho I’m not.

I’m stuck here now

Until I’m not.

I’m stuck here now

no matter what.

I wasn’t gonna

make a list.

I tried not to.

I aimed.

I missed.