Day Dot In the Big Brother Country

Some went to stockpile the rolls for their shits

From all of that pasta they’d grabbed – greedy pricks.

The papers screamed panic; the shelves emptied quick

Cause idiots finally had their own Blitz.

But that was a walk in the park

Because things were about to get dark.

On the last night they piled in the pubs for last orders

One blowout before their confinement in quarters;

Each pint a defiant one, cleaning the sawdust

From alcohol handwash piled up by the hoarders.

You can’t blame them, not really: cause life must go on -

But sometimes, like now-times, that cliché was wrong.

Still, spirits were high; “We are in the same boat,

We’ve seen off the Bosch and the EU. You know,

We voted, we’re out, boys, we took back control

So God Save the Queen, cause this lion can roar”.

And the red-faced drunks chanted and puked and spread shame

And were herded away like the pigs they became.

Those that stayed home kept a distance apart

Except for the brainless ones driving their cars

To Wales and Cornwall and caravan parks

And second homes. Tailbacks of rampaging sharks.

But covid diffused on the mountain-cool breezes

And coughing fits scattered the sand from the beaches.

And the death rates shot up as the shutters smashed down

And the ghosts of the living dead shuffled around

And the dog walkers, terrified, drove out of town

To find somewhere. Anywhere. Non-human ground.

But everyone had the exact same idea.

So the countryside rattled with people and fear.

A billionaire called for a government bailout -

A socialist now that the cashflow had failed, but

The money was found somehow. Miracle payouts!

A magic tree appeared! The true holy grail! Wow!

Portentous indeed were the bones of the shelving,

The gasping, the grasping, the sense of an ending.

Defunded, demoralised, demonised, dying,

The NHS suddenly was held as a shining

And wonderful thing. “Help them, please, they are trying

Their best. They are heroes.” - The government, lying.

So after a decade, financial starvation

Was ended, for now, for this new situation.

Of course, social media’s anything but

What it claims. Yes, it’s better than heading on out

But it’s dangerous, too. So watch out for the rush

To the shops, to the parks, to the back doors of pubs -

Cause we’re only one Internet failure from terror:

If it goes down, we'll watch the world burning together.