Quentin, Your Secret Is OUT, Pal

Pulp Fiction was quite funny. It was cartoony enough,

Bruce Willis baldly battering the gimp and all that guff,

The constant violent posturing and use of motherfucker

As verb and noun and exclamation. There’s no actor better

Than Sam L Jackson if you’ve got some great lines to deliver.

But one thing made me feel strange.

It was a nagging, growing dread.

I think that

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Think about it.

Reservoir Dogs was overrated, but it was quite good

Harvey Keitel was a star, and so was Tim Roth, but I thought

Michael Madsen and the ear was just a bit too much

I didn’t really like it; the whole premise was set up

Too neatly. But I spose it was the movie of the month.

And there was one thing that got me down.

Balancing on Mr. Brown’s reasonably normal neck.

You know that

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Gotta be.

I thought Kill Bill was stylish, and the music’s always good,

You gotta give him that one. I think it’s understood

That songs can make an atmosphere darken, shimmer, shine

Like a series of rock videos, the FX pumping, fine

Sets and choreography. The conquering of time.

But I couldn’t really concentrate on it properly.

Amongst the swordfights, battles, knives, amongst the thousand dead,

I could only think that

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

It’s true.

I don’t think I’ve seen Jackie Brown, or that one in the war.

Django? No. The Hateful Eight, well, yeah, I’m pretty sure

I spent an evening viewing that. I was a bit distracted.

I couldn’t tell you much of the plot. I was getting slowly plastered

On Henry Weston’s finest cider from a single orchard.

And to be honest, my mind was wandering,

I don’t think it’s been ever said

That, truly:

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

I know it.

His new film’s getting panned by some, and wanked over by others.

It’s got a great cast, but it seems too long. I can’t be bothered

Watching yet another one with borderline misogyny

And killing and just all that fucking bullshit. It’s not for me

But hey ho, it’s not real is it. Nothing is, ultimately.

I don’t think I could sit down for that long

In the pictures, transported

To the world where

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

Quentin Tarantino’s real face is on the back of his head.

And now we all know it.