The Million Names of God

You have a million names

but you answer to none

I sang thousands of hymns

the church reverb was beautiful

and the stained glass trembled

but did not smash

and those thick stone walls

exhaled reverberations

into the cavity of a millennium

But I did not see you, Lord

I think you did not come

Hell, I wrote a couple of hymns myself

and the boys sang treble whilst they still could

and I listened out for you

in the delicate vibrato

of the prepubescent choir

I really listened

to those glistening lips

of the grubby cherubs

But there were 

No heavenly harmonics

You have a million names

but you answer to none

I wanted to pray one time. I was broken

I wanted communion. Comfort

my soul – in pieces

my life – in disarray

I called to the lamb

but the only bleat I heard

was my own

unrelenting

sobbing

Did you hear me then Lord

When I called to you

You have a million names

but you answer to none

Will you hear me now?

Ay, these trials go on

but I have come through 

circles of my own hell

alone

I do not need you, Lord

it seems like I never did

and maybe that is the lesson.

Heck, maybe it always was the lesson:

That you have a million names

and you will never answer 

to any single one